speaking of poptarts

there are so many foods that i'm remembering just now that i havent had in a year and a half 

poptarts

cream soda

rootbeer (floats)

chili (how ironic eh)

pumpkin pie

cherry pie

real apple pie (they do it different here)

poppyseed muffins

bacon

hamburger helper

split pea soup

tater tot hot dish

green been casserole

hawaiian haystacks

craisins

snickerdoodles

life cereal

cream of wheat

summer sausage

green chili

and the list goes on

but also there are so many foods that i am going to miss from here (and neighboring countries [i had to put that because in reality i eat more peruvian and venezuelan food than anything else hahaha])

sopaipillas

cazuela

empanadas

completos (and panchos, as my companion says)

ají de gallina

papas a la huancaina

pabellón

arepas

arroz con pollo

pastel de papas

humitas

pastel de choclo

papas rellenas

calzones rotos

leche asada

flan

arroz con leche (y mazamorra)

duraznos con crema

salchipapas

churrascos

manjar

that list also goes on

oh man

guys can you even believe it's been almost a year and a half?

i'm still basically in shock because it doesnt feel real... i dont feel like i'm scheduled to go home in less than two weeks... i just feel like

i dunno

like i'm just missionary-ing and i'll just be doing that forever, hahaha 

but hey, let's not talk about that because IT MAKES ME UNCOMFORTABLE

let's talk about this week

this week i think i figured out what the Lord is trying to teach me this change. This change has been kind of difficult; all of our investigators are disappearing and it seems like the harder we work, the more of them disappear and the less receptive the people are, but I don't think it's because we're bad missionaries nor because the sector doesn't have any potential, nor anything else; I think that this is happening to help teach me the importance of perseverance. 

Perseverance is the fifth and final part of the gospel of Jesus Christ that he taught. To refresh your memories, the five are faith, repentance, baptism, receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost, and enduring to the end, or as the phrase translates from Spansh, persevere until the end. 

I was thinking a little bit about that word the other day and the difference between 'endure' and 'persevere'

I dont know about you but when I hear the word 'endure' I picture a person making an ugly face and is probably sweating and (the first time i typed swearing haha which could also be but we shouldnt swear no no) is red as a rocotto and is almost not accomplishing the thing that they need to accomplish but darnit they are ENDURING and they are gonna get it done

but when I hear the word 'persevere' the picture changes a little. I picture somebody that is pushing forward; even though what they are doing is hard, they are pushing forward, not giving up, and definitely gonna get it done

Enduring for me is a person hanging from a cliff and persevering is a person pushing a really big rock

and maybe i'm crazy and just talking crazy talk, but i like a little better the word persevere.

but anyway, that's not what the point is

the point is that the perseverance is something hard I would say for pretty much anybody, especially the farther along we get. As we persevere, we learn things; we make mistakes and learn from the things we do wrong to be better and progress more, but the farther we get, the more we learn, and the more we learn the more we can handle, and sooo, the trials get bigger. The Lord knows he can trust us with bigger problems and in order for us to learn and progress more, he entrusts us with those bigger problems. If this life was easy, there would never be any progress! 

And that's our purpose here after all. Before this life we lived as spirits with our Heavenly Father, but there came a point as spirits that we couldn't progress anymore, we couldn't do anything else, unless we obtained bodies and learned to use our agency well, and so we came to earth! So, if we find that everything is easy in life, are we really progressing? Or are we waiting for the day when everything will be easy? Is it wise to wait for a time like that?

Or should we just be happy and grateful in the state that we are; falling and getting back up, learning, growing, being tried in a myriad (is that a word or am i making it up?) of ways?

I think that that is one of the keys to life; finding happiness and having an attitude of gratitude no matter what is happening in our lives; a difficult task, but one that will help us to feel fulfilled throughout our entire lives. 

I hope something that I've said has made sense... I feel like my grammar is so bad and I'm using so many made up words that nothing makes sense but I'M TRYING FOLKS

but anyway, that's why I like to use the word persevere; because it implies happiness. It's like... we're going to suffer, but we're going to be happy about it (10 points to the house that names that movie). 

Sometimes we have to persevere through things we dont want to have to go through, but I know that the blessings we will receive for our faithfulness to the Lord are a lot bigger than we can even imagine and they will come with time, through patience and perseverance. 

I know that this gospel is true, really and truly I do. I know that it blesses us more than anything else on the planet; I have seen the blessings in my own life, in my family, and in countless people that I have met here in Chile. The gospel is a blessing in my life and I am infinitely grateful to have it. I know that Jesus is the Christ, that he is our Savior, and that he suffered and walked alone to the very end so that we don't ever have to do this alone. I know that God has a plan for us and I testify with all that I have that he lives and loves us, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

that's all the time i have for this week folks

next week we'll talk again

for

the

last

time 

I love you ALL AND I WILL SEE YOU LITERALLY SO SOON I CAN ALMOST TASTE THE AMERICAN FOOD HAVE A GREAT WEEK AND ALL THAT 

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Camera shutter is broken
but the hermana photos are still beautiful!

Face painted at the church carnival

ex-haus-ted

Hna Schomburg, Hna Paulson, Hna Palmer
Last trip to the Santiago Temple before coming home
in three weeks.

you have to take a pause in each of the dashes when you read the title

i am just

so

tired holy cannoli

let me tell you a story

once upon a time in the mission Chile Santiago Norte the missionaries that are headed home all go to the temple with Pres and Hna Videla the friday before their flight and then they have lunch together and after that, all the missionaries that are going home are just really terribly trunky

but one day when hna schomburg was in her last cambio the temple was going to be closed for maintenance her last week so they had to go on the 23rd of august, three weeks before going home

so they went and it was all REALLY EMOTIONALLY EXHAUSTING AND HNA SCHOMBURG WAS WITH HNA PAULSON AND HNA PALMER JUST LIKE HOW SHE STARTED THE MISSION AND SHE COULDNT HANDLE IT AND CRIED FOR LIKE 40 YEARS and then after everything, it was time to write the family and she didnt have any anything left to do anything ever again because she cried so much and she felt so much of the Spirit

the end

those are the circumstances folks, so i apologize if this letter is real lame

but let me try to say some things that will be spiritually uplifting or will let you know how this week went

let me consult my agenda

- on friday we got on the metro and in one of the stations like A BILLION CARABINEROS IN FIGHTIN GEAR AND WITH SHIELDS AND STUFF GOT ON THE TRAIN and we thought it was real cool and then we were thinking more and we were like

why...

why did they have to take the metro? did they all have to pay with their bip?

- on saturday we just had one heck of a day doin a lot of stuff and talkin with a lot of (interesting) people like one man that yelled at me like he was going to fight me and then started talking to me in italian and asking me to kiss his cheek

- on sunday the gospel principles teachers didnt show up so they told me 5 minutes before the class started that i had to teach it #thingsiwillmissaboutbeingamissionary and then in relief society they talked all about marriage

and everybody teased me

because i'm going home in 3 weeks

oh yeah

i'm going home in 3 weeks

I'm so sorry you all have to read this terribly trunky letter, it's just that we JUST WENT TO THE TEMPLE and talked about all these trunky things and it's all fresh still and i promise i will be normal in a little bit

okay

how can i rescue this letter

well, it's still gonna be something a little trunky or sentimental or nostalgic or something, but let me tell it to you anyway because it meant a lot to me

so, yesterday i was in an exchange with Hna Paulson and in the nighttime we picked up Hna Palmer also (so that we could go to the temple today) and we were all thinking back on the CCM and everything that we had done and realizing how much we had grown. We went to teach a recently baptized Haitian man in Hna Paulson's sector and us three went in and sat down and had to teach him in english because he doesnt speak spanish and it just made me chuckle a little bit

remembering the CCM when we struggled to give a lesson in spanish and thinking that we're exactly the same now, except that we struggled to give the lesson in english

and i just got to thinking about the amazing things that the Lord can do. Sometimes it's when we least expect it that he gives us a change; sometimes we don't necessarily want it; sometimes we wait a long time for it, but everything that the Lord wants to happen will happen and in his own time, if we allow him to mold us. Sometimes we focus too much on what we want to happen and it just keeps not happening, even though we're obeying and doing everything right, but it's because we sometimes forget to ask the Lord if what we want is what He wants also. 

A lot of the changes I've seen in myself are not things I was expecting to change here in the mission, but they are things that the Lord wanted me to change. Our goal should not be to always get what we want, but to always want what the Lord wants, because if we submit ourselves to his will and his word and if we accept it, we will always have what we want, because the Lord always fulfills his promises.

I have been extremely blessed to be here in the mission. I am immensely grateful for the experiences I have had, for the changes I have made in myself, and if I was able to help even one person to have a better life and to make it better with Christ, if I was able to the be instrument the Lord needed for one single minute, I am happy with that. The worth of souls is great in the sight of God and when we are granted a small part of that sight, our love grows a whole lot. I feel that I have been privileged to have been a part of this mission and this work and I understand better now the plan the God has for us and the important part that every single one of us plays in his plan. We are all important; we are all special; we are all children of God and we all deserve to know the good news.

I know that this gospel is true! I know that the blessings we receive in the temple are unique and precious and we cannot afford to live without them. Do whatever you must do to be in the temple, especially with your family. I love the gospel. I love my Savior, and I really love the mission and I really really love Chile and I really really really am going to miss this. But I know that my life doesnt stop here; there are lots of things for me to do afterwards. It's all part of the plan :) en el nombre de Jesucristo, amén

sorry if this doesnt make even a little bit of sense

really and truly i 

am

ex-haus-ted

but I love you all and I will talk to you next week and it will make more sense than this week :) I LOVE YOU

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Beautiful sunset with the Chilean flag.

la semana MÁS BRUTAL DE TODA LA VIDA

I wasn't supposed to share this, but her face is priceless.
She doesn't like the looks of the "pregnant oranges." haha

[the most BRUTAL WEEK OF ALL LIFE]

well, this week was better than last week

and also worse

hahahaha, WOW THE MISSION IS AN AMAZINGLY BEAUTIFUL AND COMPLICATED THING

so let's talk

this week I was a lot better mind-wise; not thinking too much or anything and working real hard (except for that i'm so stressed out that my eye has literally been twitching almost constantly dont worry i'm fine everything is under control) but we were confronted by another challenge this week

called

'everybody and their cousins are moving away'

literally i dont know what is going on because at the beginning of the week we had like 20 good investigators that we've been working with constantly and now

well,

we now have 5. 

We had a bunch of appointments this week and we would show up at an apartment and they would say, 'Oh, (person's name)? They moved out like 3 days ago' 

and then they dont answer their phone or their number has changed

i dunno man it's been brutal this week

we also have had to drop a few people that we realized really weren't progressing and were listening us for curiosity no más. WHERE'S THE REAL INTENT??? 

and other people dropped us, calling us to say 'sorry, we dont think we're going to continue listening because it's just too hard to take that time out of the day' 

one of our struggles here is that everybody works

EVERYBODY works and they work so so SOSOSO much because a lot of them are foreigners that come here to Santiago to work and regularly send money to their families in their respective countries. For that same reason, a lot of people move around a lot to find the lowest price to rent or when they find a job that pays more; this city is very much alive and the people move around A LOT. 

So, the answer to my madre's question if we have new investigators... 

yes we have one! 

we may have lost 15, but we found one this week! and he is really really a great find because he wants to change his life.

a lot of people when the missionaries say that they want people to teach or want references and stuff like that, try to think of people that already fit the standards of member of the church, but that's not necessarily what we want! the only thing that somebody needs to be able to change is the desire to change and the guidance of the Savior. our new investigator probably isnt what most people would call a great find, but he told us that he wants to change and he started immediately to act on what we told him would help him. He is an alcoholic, and he smokes, and he was doing the two when we found him (by 'accident' when looking for some old investigators) but he saw us and stopped us and shook our hands and said that he needed our help

so we started to teach him; he doesnt actually even believe in Jesus Christ, only in God, but he said that he is willing to believe if it changes his life. 

we gave him a pamphlet and told him to put down the cigarette and drink some water (he told us he hadnt drunk water in 10 years) and the next time he wanted to pick up the bottle or the cigarette, to pick up the pamphlet or offer a prayer.

and he started right them.

We as missionaries and as members of the church CANNOT judge whether or not a person is ready. We cannot judge ANYBODY; that's God's job and He doesn't need any help. We know that our message is true; we know that Jesus Christ lives; it is our job to spread that knowledge so that other people can also have it and change their lives; we dont decide who gets to have the gospel and who no, the gospel is for everybody! 

It's possible that our new investigator never gets baptized; that he doesnt get farther than that pamphlet, or that he goes back to his ways, but our job is to invite. Jesus doesn't force his way into our lives, he knocks and we must answer the door. We are hoping and praying that our new investigator opens the door and can change his life; the only way we can change our lives, whether the changes are big or small, is through our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I know that he lives and I know that the power of his Atonement is real and it is within reach for all of us that believe in Him. I love the Lord and I love the gospel; it really does change lives and this I share in the name of Jesus Christ, amen. 

I DONT HAVE MORE TIME BUT I LOVE YOU ALL AND WE'LL TALK NEXT WEEK 

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Cooking...

Tasting...

Enjoying arroz con leche
(rice pudding)

la peor semana de TODO LA VIDA

[the worst week of ALL LIFE]

this week

has

been

probably one of the worst weeks of my mission

maybe my entire life

hahaha, but dont worry, it's all good, it's just been

ONE OF THOSE WEEKS IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN

i have a feeling that all of this happened because i'm getting closer to the end and the adversary really REALLY REALLY doesnt want me to be a happy missionary my last change

but

he is going to fail

I'm starting to feel a weird way like how I felt right before I came here... but also in a different way... just, everything

is 

really hard

and I couldnt even tell you what it is that made this week SO TERRIBLE and SO HARD because we had a relatively good week and actually a whole lot of great things happened but I just felt SO TERRIBLE this week

and I didnt really know why so I spent some time meditating and started doing something that we talked about in our zone class: I started paying more attention to my thoughts, and when I did that, I realized that I was being invaded

Invaded by some real silly thoughts having to do with the work I've done as a missionary. It really is amazing how much our thoughts when we're not paying attention affect our attitudes. 

I began to realize more and more that my thoughts were fairly negative about what I've done here; thinking that I could have tried harder, could have had more success, could have done more contacts, could have had shorter and more powerful lessons, could have called members for all of our lessons, could have participated more in Ward Council, could have baptized more people, the list goes on and on and on and o-o-on (props to those that sang that)

but instead of realizing my thoughts were negative and snapping out of it, I began to think

it's true. All that stuff is true. I am a bad missionary because I didn't do all those things.

Until I began to think more and more

I have failed.

My mission has been a complete and utter failure and I don't know why I'm here now and I don't know why I came if all I did was get yelled at and eat rice with chicken every other day (don't get me wrong, I love rice and chicken, I really do...) and get robbed in the metro

the only thing I did was learn spanish

woohooooooooooooooooo

That's what I was thinking.

And the worst part of it all I think is that I wasn't really wallowing in self-pity for having wasted my own time, but I was in an even bigger hole (sorry i couldnt think of craftier words haha) thinking that I had wasted the Lord's time. That I had disappointed him with what I've done. 

I realized about Saturday afternoon when I started my fast that that was not okay to think and that I have had a purpose and have a purpose here and started to think myself out of it, but I felt like I couldn't do it alone. 

Luckily for me, I didn't have to, nor does anybody have to do it alone. We have our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ who is always there to help us and he helps us in a variety of ways. I started with the scriptures and prayer and moved on to my patriarchal blessing and the Liahona and finally decided that I needed to ask for a priesthood blessing, so on Sunday I asked Bishop Negrete if he could give me a blessing. So, good ol' Bishop Negrete in his Bishop Negrete way gave me a blessing and told me a few things that I know 100% he was prompted by the Spirit to tell me and I would like to try and share a few with you all (mixed with my thoughts as well). 

First of all, if we look behind us, we will ALWAYS see things that we could have done better because we are imperfect beings and we always make mistakes, sometimes bigger mistakes than other times, but there are always errors. What happened already happened; what we need to do is repent and move on, not look back and think 'but I could have done so much better' because we will NEVER be happy if we think that way. 

Second, having already repented for the mistakes that I've made, I was confused as to why I still felt bad. The bishop explained that those feelings are from the adversary. He wants us to continue feeling bad and to deny the power of the atonement. When we repent, our sins are washed away completely, end of story. God remembers them no more. So if we continue feeling bad about things that we've already repented for, maybe that's why. The adversary wants us to think that there is no forgiveness, that we can never be better, and more than anything, that the power of Christ's atonement doesnt exist and doesnt work. 

Third, it doesnt matter what we've done in the past; what matters is who we are now. When we are face to face with God in the end, he's not going to judge us on our actions and what we've done, we, based on what we've done, are going to be able to look him in the eyes, or we're not going to be able to; it's a simple as that. 

And he also told me a WHOLE LOT OF OTHER THINGS that I dont have time to write, but just think about those things for a little bit and maybe one day I'll be able to tell you all the things he said and all the things that the Spirit taught me. Just know that I'm better now, and this week is going to be **terrible pulento** 

I know that I am a daughter of God and that He loves me and that He loves all of you too. I know that the work of Salvation is the most important work that exists here on the planet and I invite you all to be a part. I love this work; I love the gospel, I LOVE BEING A MISSIONARY AND I LOVE MY MISSION IT'S THE BEST MISSION IN THE WHOLE WOOOOOOOOOOORLD and most importantly, I love the Lord. And this I leave you in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

I HAVE ZERO TIME LEFT I LOVE YOU ALL HAVE A GREAT WEEK SEE YA LATER

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Argentine empanadas

the good, the bad, and the cops

The district

Well.

There are so many things that have happened but let me start with the basics.

We didnt have cambios! So I'm still here with Hna García and in Compañía! HOWEVER, other people in the zone had cambios, for example, Hna Paulson needed a new companion to be the other hna lider because Hna Garlock left, so guess who my new hna lider is??

HERMANA CABRERAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA MY FIRST BORN DAUGHTERRRRRRRRRRRRRR and we already have plans to go to Santa Lucia today hahahaha I'M SO HAPPY SERIOUSLY I CANNOT EVEN EXPLAIN

but she also told me of some sad news...

This last Saturday, Tata passed away :( I dont know exactly the details or what happened or anything, but Hna Cabrera told me that he had a headache or something so they went to the doctor and within an hour he had passed on. 

Hna Cabrera, Tata, Hna Schomburg
Tata's baptism 

It's been really interesting thinking about it more because i dont really feel that sad... not in a bad heartless way, but I know with all my heart that I'm going to see him again, and more importantly that all of his family is going to be with him eternally and I have no doubt in my mind that his father (earthly father i'm saying) received him with open arms when he arrived, just like he always said he wanted :) so, it's okay. The plan of salvation really is real and true and the plan that God made for us all and because of that plan, we dont have to worry about what happens after this life; if we're going to see our loved ones again; where we're going to be or what we're going to be doing. In the scriptures we can read about the plan and know that it is true. It saddens me that he was not able to get sealed to his wife and children while he was here on the earth, but one year from now he will be able to! And everything that is sealed here on earth is sealed in heaven, sooooo, it's all good :) 

changing a little bit the topic......

this week has been real good and we did stuff :) on Friday we had the chance to go on divisions with the hermanas that are finishing their training in the MTC and it was really great! I went with Hermana Guzman from Nicaragua! It was way fun and I started remembering all the funness of the CCM and everything... oh how time passes... :o

And then what else... I dont even remember... On Sunday everybody was celebrating the independence day of Perú so there were a WHOLE LOT of carabineros around because everybody was partying and stuff but we went to have a lesson in Plaza de Armas and we were sitting there talking about the gospel and stuff when two carabineros passed by and one of them stopped and i was watching him from the corner of my eye because i was talking but like 

i dunno

the carabineros kinda intimidate me 

but anyway so he points at my companion and motions for her to go over

and we're like

*heavy breathing* [WHAT IS HAPPEN] 

and he does it again and she's like 'me???' and he says yes so my companion stands up and i stand up with her and he says to me 'not you, only her' 

and i was like

'listen mister, we are MISSIONARIES and we ALWAYS STAY TOGETHER' (but without the 'listen mister' part, that was only in my mind)

so he was like 'well then come over both of you'

and i'm like freaking out in my mind cos like

I DUNNO

YOU KNOW HOW YOU'RE INNOCENT AND EVERYTHING BUT IT DOESNT MATTER IF A COP CALLS YOU OVER YOU PANIC AND START TO THINK OF ALL THE THINGS YOUVE EVER DONE LIKE WHEN YOU MISSED THE TRASHCAN THROWING AWAY GARBAGE IN THE STREET AND ALSO YOU JUST FEEL MORE VULNERABLE BECAUSE YOURE A FOREIGNER AND STUFF 

and he pulls us away a little bit from the investigator and the member that we were with and he says all quiet and secret 'do you know who that man is?'

and so we immediately are thinking 'WELL I MEAN I THOUGHT I KNEW WHO HE WAS BUT I DONT REALLY KNOW' like thinking that the carabinero said it as in the investigator was wanted or something 

but in the end he told us that he just wanted to know because there's a lot of weirdies that hang around plaza de armas and they like to rob 'religious people' (carabinero's words) like us so we told him that we knew him and stuff and he told us to be careful and not talk to strangers

we decided not to explain to him that that's our job

but so that was fun :) it's the little things that spice up the life of a missionary

Hna Schomburg with the carabineros in April 2016

to be honest about the cambio situation, i was really confused (and am still slightly confused) about why i didnt have any cambio... but it makes me want to work even harder to figure out what it is that the Lord needs me to do or to learn in this sector and with Hna García. I'm grateful to have some more time to be able to reap the fruits of what we've been sewing because i was thinking i wasnt going to be able to :) so it's all good and it's all happy and just yes :) 

I know that this gospel is true and that we get much more joy out of it sharing it than keeping it a secret. I am grateful to be a missionary and to be in this mission and sector and with Hna García; this cambio is going to bring a lot of miracles, i can feel it in mah bones :) I know Jesus Christ lives and is our Savior and that he loves us SO MUCH; every single one of us. In his holy name, even Jesus Christ, amen.

sorry this is so short and not that full of cool things; i'm just feelin real tranquila and peaceful and stuff and i dunno, dont have so much to say, but i'll have more to say next week, i'm sure of it :) 

I LOVE YOU ALL REMEMBER TO READ YOUR SCRIPTURES AND PRAY AND REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE BE HOME BEFOREMIDNIGHT 

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